From an early age, many of us are taught to assign labels like “good” and “bad” to ourselves, our bodies, our actions, and even our achievements. These labels seem like facts, but they are subjective judgments that reflect cultural norms and external opinions, not universal truths. Understanding the origins of these labels and the psychological mechanisms behind them is key to reclaiming your power over how you view yourself.
The Origins of “Good” and “Bad”
The words “good” and “bad” have deep linguistic roots that reveal their inherently subjective nature. “Good” comes from Old English, derived from the Proto-Germanic word gōdaz, linked to the Proto-Indo-European root ghedh- meaning “to unite” or “to be suitable.” It has consistently implied something desirable or virtuous.
“Bad,” however, has a more complex history. It likely originated from the Old English term bæddel, which carried negative connotations related to deviation from perceived norms, reflecting a patriarchal bias where anything seen as deviating from traditional masculinity—such as being ‘feminine’ or different—was viewed negatively. Historically, these norms were largely determined by men, particularly white men in Western societies, who held positions of power and shaped cultural narratives. This highlights how subjective and one-sided these definitions were, often excluding the voices of women and marginalized groups. Another possible origin points to the Proto-Germanic bada- or badda-, signifying something deficient or inferior.
These origins illustrate how the concept of “bad” has been tied to cultural biases and deviations from societal norms. What one culture deems “good” might be seen as “bad” by another, highlighting the fluid and context-dependent nature of these terms. Historically, these norms were largely determined by dominant groups, particularly in Western societies, often excluding the voices of marginalized communities.
But why do we accept these labels so easily? This is where understanding the psychology behind judgment becomes important.
For more information on the etymological information, refer to the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) or the Online Etymology Dictionary.
Confirmation Bias: Reinforcing the Labels We’re Given
Research by Daniel Kahneman, a psychologist and Nobel laureate, illustrates how confirmation bias affects decision-making by causing people to seek information that supports pre-existing beliefs (Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow). This psychological tendency helps explain why we often accept and reinforce labels without questioning them.
When you internalize a label—such as your body or certain foods being “bad”—confirmation bias kicks in. Your brain naturally focuses on evidence that supports this label, like negative comments or societal messaging, while ignoring contradictory information. This creates a self-fulfilling cycle where the label becomes increasingly entrenched.
By understanding this mechanism, we can begin to break free from the trap of harmful labels. Remember, just because a label has been assigned doesn’t make it true. You have the power to challenge and ultimately discard these subjective judgments.
For more on cognitive biases, including confirmation bias, see the work of Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman in “Judgment under Uncertainty: Heuristics and Biases.”
Linking Labels to Worth and Value
When we label something as “good” or “bad”, we often begin to tie those labels to ideas of worth and value. But it’s important to understand the distinction:
- Value is often externally assigned based on societal standards or cultural beliefs. For example, diet culture places a high value on thinness, labeling certain body types as “good” and others as “bad.” Similarly, hustle culture places high value on productivity, labeling certain levels of work output as “good” and others as “not enough.”
- Worth, on the other hand, is more intrinsic. It reflects the true significance of the usefulness of something, independent of the labels placed on it. Just because society values thinness or constant productivity doesn’t mean that a thin body or a busy schedule is inherently more worthy than another.
This is where things can get tricky: once something is labeled as “good” or “bad”, we often mistake value for worth. We might believe that being labeled “good” makes us more worthy, or that being labeled “bad” diminishes our worth. But in reality, those labels are subjective, rooted in external opinions, and have nothing to do with our inherent worth.
Social Influence: The Subjective Nature of Judgment
Judgments and opinions are often presented as facts, especially when they come from trusted sources (parents, friends/family, peers) or established cultural institutions. However, these judgments are inherently subjective, shaped by the individuals’ or systems’ values and biases.
Cultural narratives play a significant role in how we label ourselves and others. For instance:
- Diet Culture: promotes the idea that certain foods are inherently “bad” (like carbs or sugar), while others are “good” (like green smoothies). This oversimplification ignores the complexity of nutrition and individual needs.
- Hustle Culture: elevates constant productivity and moving up the proverbial ladder as “good,” while viewing rest, leisure, or contentment with one’s current position as “lazy” or unproductive. This narrative often disregards the importance of work-life balance and mental health.
- Beauty Standards: labels certain body types or features as “attractive” or “unattractive,” often based on narrow, culturally-specific ideals that change over time.
These cultural narratives demonstrate how what society labels as “good” or “bad” often reflects larger systemic beliefs rather than objective truths. They may not align with your personal values or experiences.
Recognizing the influence of these narratives is crucial. It allows us to question whether the labels we’ve internalized truly serve our wellbeing, or if they’re remnants of societal pressures that may no longer be relevant or healthy for us.
Reclaiming Your Power Over Labels
I want to share that learning to challenge these labels and practicing self-compassion were two of the most transformative skills I discovered in my own recovery from an eating disorder and hustle culture. Every time I had the thought, “they say…”, I would pause and ask myself, “Who are ‘they’? Why am I giving some arbitrary ‘they’ the power to determine my worth and value, and what is good for my body, mind, and soul?” This practice became pivotal for me—a moment where I realized I could recover my autonomy and agency instead of allowing ‘them’ to assign worth and value to me based on an oppressive system that never had my best interest in mind. A system rigged to keep people dependent. I began to see that following these standards wasn’t gaining control—it was relinquishing control to those who benefited from my self-doubt.
By challenging these labels, I felt as though I was finally standing up to ‘those in charge’—leveling the playing field where I could reclaim my role as the authority of my own life. I began to determine what was worthy of my consideration, and how I would respond. I sorted through the rhetoric and propaganda I had been fed since birth, and in doing so, I found my way back home to myself, to the version of me that existed before the world got its hands on me. This journey of questioning wasn’t about rebellion for the sake of defiance—it was about liberation. It was about honoring who I truly am and what genuinely brings me peace and fulfillment.
To make these concepts actionable in your daily life, consider the following practices:
- Journaling Exercise: Reflect on a label you’ve been given – how has it affected your sense of worth, and how can you begin to challenge it? Write down any thoughts or feelings that come up and explore where those beliefs originated.
- Daily Practice: Consciously practice neutrality. When you find yourself labeling a behavior or feeling as “good” or “bad,” pause and ask yourself if this label is truly helpful or if it’s coming from external expectations. Reframe the thought in a neutral way that honors your experience without judgment.
- Mindfulness Practice: Spend five minutes a day noticing your thoughts about your body, food, or work without judgment – acknowledge them and then let them go. This can help you detach from automatic labels and approach yourself with more compassion.
We often forget that we are not just passive participants in society. We are part of it. As individuals within society and culture, we have the right to question and reshape the normative narratives. If cultural standards no longer serve us or align with our values, we have the power to change them. The labels that society has imposed, such as what is deemed ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ are not fixed truths. By challenging these norms, we actively contribute to creating a more inclusive, compassionate, and realistic narrative.
You have the ability to challenge these labels. Just as you’ve been taught to label things as “good” or “bad,” you can unlearn that habit. When you label something – whether it’s your body, a food choice, your productivity, or even your achievements – you’re putting yourself in a box, and that can be a form of self-imprisonment. It restricts your ability to live in alignment with your true values and intuition.
Your body, your food, and your achievements don’t need to be categorized. They are simply a part of life. by staying neutral and refusing to apply rigid judgments, you free yourself from the pressures of society and its often unrealistic standards. This neutrality allows space for something far more valuable: trust in yourself, your body, and your inner wisdom.
Moving Beyond External Judgments
External judgments, whether from individuals, workplace culture, or societal systems, are not truth – they are opinions. And opinions, by nature, are subjective. When you allow judgments to dictate how you feel about yourself, you give up your power. But the truth is, only your opinion of yourself matters. You are the expert on your own body, your accomplishments, achievements, productivity, and your experience.
By letting go of labels and external judgments, you can reconnect with your own values and intuition. Instead of viewing food, your body, or your productivity through a lens of judgment, you can view them through a lens of neutrality and self-compassion. Food is nourishment, enjoyment, and a part of life; your body is your home, deserving of care and respect; your work is part of your life, but it does not define you. And, neither the food you eat, the body you inhabit, nor the job you do defines your worth.
Breaking Free from Bias and Labels
When you begin to question the labels you’ve accepted as truth, you allow yourself to live more authentically. You stop seeking confirmation that reinforces harmful beliefs and start making choices that align with who you really are and who you want to be. This process is about reclaiming your right to see yourself, your body, your relationship with food, and your productivity through a lens that reflects your personal values – not the values imposed on you by external forces.
So, as you reflect on your journey, ask yourself: What labels have I been accepting without question? Where have I allowed external judgments – whether from society, work culture, or others – to influence how I feel about myself? And how can I start trusting my own intuition and values to guide me?
You have the power to change how you view yourself. Labels don’t define you – you do. And, by letting go of judgment, you allow space for self-compassion, growth, and alignment with your true self.
Final Thought
Remember, the labels we inherit are not our truth – they are simply reflections of someone else’s story. By rewriting our own narrative, we reclaim the power to define ourselves.
Resources
For those interested in further reading and exploring these concepts more deeply, consider the following resources:
- Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality: Offers insight into how power dynamics, especially those shaped by patriarchal and colonial structures, influence what becomes socially “normal” or “deviant.”
- Bell Hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love: Discusses how patriarchal norms have shaped masculinity and cultural narratives, highlighting the influence of men, particularly white men, in determining societal expectations.
- Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow: A comprehensive look at how cognitive biases, including confirmation bias, shape our decisions and perspectives. The book explores the two systems of thought—fast, intuitive thinking and slow, deliberate thinking—and how these impact judgment and decision-making.
- Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Explores the importance of embracing vulnerability and letting go of rigid labels to live more authentically. Brown encourages readers to cultivate self-acceptance and recognize that imperfection is part of being human.
- Carol Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success: Discusses the power of shifting from a fixed mindset (where labels are definitive) to a growth mindset, which fosters resilience and self-compassion. Dweck’s work shows how our beliefs about our abilities can either limit or enhance our potential.
- Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself: Offers practical tools for developing self-compassion, which can help release harmful judgments and labels. Neff provides exercises to foster self-kindness, reduce self-criticism, and cultivate a healthier relationship with oneself.
If you’d like to explore these ideas further or are interested in working with me, I invite you to reach out via my contact page.
DISCLAIMER
The content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health provider, or another qualified healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern.
This blog does not provide medical or psychiatric advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with your healthcare provider before making any changes to your healthcare routine.
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